you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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