Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
