I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
