He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you win again, gameday.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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