it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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