i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
