she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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