Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
