shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
