I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just threw up on my dentist
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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