Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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