well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
