distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
