I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
