She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize