I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
