this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize