it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
