If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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