Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
