I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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