Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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