I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
