We're like a lot better than the average bears
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
No subtext here. People are naked.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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