I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
