Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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