Porn is love you can see.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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