Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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