i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize