if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
