I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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