I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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