...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
