He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
