so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I will pee on everything he values.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
