So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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