Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
