For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
