Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize
