I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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