it's too hot outside to masturbate.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
