Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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