you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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