So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
