He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
