Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i out mim tonsoeep
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize