6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
