You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize