He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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