i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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