$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
