well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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