But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
