This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
