some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
