You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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