but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
