They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
