I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
