True but thats because hes a fetus.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
