I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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