dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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