She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
