just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
