I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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